her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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