I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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