im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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