Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
