he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if only i could text you this smell
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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