im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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