i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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