So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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