I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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