Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
