I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize