And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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