shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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