Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
