watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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