why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
