I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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