I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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