I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
