After last night, I could never be a politician.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize