I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
