I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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