I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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