Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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