He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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