So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
