Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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