im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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