I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
