imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm experimenting with sincerity
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
