dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
