Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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