The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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