not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
