his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
