Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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