I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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