So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
