she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
