Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
