Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
