drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
