Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He passed out mid-signature
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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