Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
