It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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