thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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