Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just had sex bonerless
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My balls are so social today.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
