can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
