yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Randomize
