he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize