dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize