I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
this just has baby written all over it
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
