I'm gonna have a badass scar
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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