Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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