took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
