I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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