I got chris browned last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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