we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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