You really coming over, don't trick.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
