Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
