WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize