i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
